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Some jokes

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1Some jokes Empty Some jokes Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:33 pm

***AARON***



A woman was found dead in her home today!

She was discoverd in her bath tub which was filled with milk & conflakes.

The police suspect a cerial killer!

2Some jokes Empty Re: Some jokes Mon Jan 19, 2009 4:03 pm

Gladiator

Gladiator

lol! good one...



Last edited by Gladiator on Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:28 am; edited 1 time in total

3Some jokes Empty Re: Some jokes Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:03 am

***AARON***



Super Model Crash


Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a
super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane
announces: "We have just lost power to the engines and are going to
make an emergency crash landing -- assume the brace position
immediately!"
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia
pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face. Bewildered,
Naomi and Cindy ask: "What in the hell are you doing fixing your
make-up when we are about to friggin' crash!"
Claudia responds: "I know for a fact the rescue workers will search
for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces -- which
is why I am putting on my make-up."
Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of
flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused,
Naomi and Claudia shout: "Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are
you baring your breasts for everyone to see when we are about to die!"
Cindy responds: "I have it on good authority in plane crashes, the
rescue workers look to save first the women with big beautiful breasts
-- which is why I am exposing my tits!"
Not hesitating, Naomi Campbell pulls down her skirt and panties to
expose her love triangle." Freaking out, Claudia and Cindy yell:
"Naomi -- Are you crazy?? Why are you exposing your crotch for
everyone to see?"
Calmly, Naomi responds: "BITCHES PLEASE! I know for a fact the first
thing the rescue workers look for in plane crashes is a black box!"

4Some jokes Empty Re: Some jokes Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:27 am

Gladiator

Gladiator

Lol heard it before but always a good one, keep them coming

5Some jokes Empty APARTMENT for RENT Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:40 pm

***AARON***



A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. Morning, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'



On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:


'Dear Madam:



Enclosed find a check for $250 for rent of your apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:



#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.



However, I found out that:



#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was entirely too large.'



Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check f or $250 with the following note:



'Dear Sir:



#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.



So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady...

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